Home Deprived

by Guitar vs. Gravity

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Home Deprived is Guitar vs. Gravity's "Lost Album." Except for one song, I play all the instruments. It was recorded over the course of my relocation from Indiana to California and deals with what I was experiencing at the time; leaving my home and my friends, leaving the stagnant midwest, hope for a brighter future, examining my youth, and wondering where I was going to end up as an adult. It accidentally became my coming of age piece.

The recording of Home Deprived was started as a way to test out some recording gear that I had purchased in 1999. I began recording songs by myself in my loft apartment/warehouse space in Indianapolis. In 2000 I moved to California, and the album came with me. I finally finished the album in 2001.


released September 1, 2001

Ben Adrian: instruments, engineering, mixing, mastering.
Andy Carrell: guitar on Please Burn in Hell
Andy, Carrell, Eric Shallop, Lela Ross: assistant engineers

Recorded June 1999 - July 2001 at Ben's various home studios.

Gabriella Marks: photos



all rights reserved


Guitar vs. Gravity Los Angeles, California

Guitar vs. Gravity is Ben Adrian, and has been since 1999.
Recent cohorts:
Matt Stabile
Stephen Pride
David Shollenbarger

Guitar vs. Gravity records and plays shows sporadically based on invitations, mood, and how many compliments Ben receives.
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Track Name: Binoculars
Smashing instruments
part of that teenage youth
a trend that came and went
came and went.

It makes such perfect sense
that we would destruct
devices that gave us hope
and still we feel corrupt.

I don't think I can be that person again.

If we had binoculars
and saw just how we got here
I'm sure it would have frightened us
and made us sick.

It makes such perfect sense
that we would have to hide
because we knew the big unknown
wasn't what we'd implied.

I don't think I can be that person again
but we're scared of what we'll find
and I know I can't be that person again
but it's so tempting to live in the world
we left behind.
Track Name: Sixth Grade Dream
It's not warm
and the noises frighten
and I'm so worn
from being up all night.
What was that sound?
Soon it's forgotten.
I hope no one's around.
I hope no one's outside.

Soaking wet
and locked asleep
a faint resemblance
to a sixth grade dream.
Track Name: Bright Ones
All the bright ones,
the ones that are cultural,
all the intriguing ones,
and the ones that are beautiful,
all the heart stopping ones,
and the ones that haunt your dreams,
are all the taken ones,
or far away, it seems.

But every heartbreak is a song.
Track Name: Improper Eyes
Whenever I wake at night
and I look into my home
or into my room
when I woke long ago.

Aided by the dark.
Aided by improper eyes.

The eyes did deceive.
Aided by the dark.
Aided by improper eyes
the room came to life.
Track Name: Everything Held Tight and Dreamed
We have our little lives
full of truth and detail
and momentous times
that fill our insides.
And all the little things
so important to us
are just superfluous
in the grand scheme of things.

And the whole world
has their daily events
and their rituals
that mean so much.
But just as such
all that's integral
and all of their intents
means nothing in the world.

And everything
to everyone
which is held
tight and dreamed
means absolutely nothing
so it all means everything.
Track Name: Desperate Times (plus interlude 3)
Like capacitance it smooths him out,
but it's coincidence that there is not incident.
Now he lives through a drought.

In self defense, he says it helps,
but the consequence; he's lost himself.
Now he lives to spite himself.

Now we all know he never knew the words.
We just thought he'd sung so quietly.
In better times he wanted to be heard.
In desperate times, he spoke the truth to me.
Track Name: Please Burn in Hell
Consider talking
but he twists the words.
Now this is involving
innocent bystanders.
Logic so easy
to topple
always too easy
to topple.

And now he's left cleaning up.
And now he's daft and coming up.
With responses, increasingly defensive.
And commentary, completely reactionary.

Considering the reasons
and heading for the exit
"This is the last time I'll see,"
he thinks to himself,
"this series of rooms
and the air I breathe
will be the last I breathe here.

And he says aloud,
"Farewell to all I leave here;
please have a smile,
and to those who have looked forward
please burn in hell."
Track Name: Home Deprived
Saying goodbye.
Waving from a boat
setting to sea.
Motion discomfort sets in
and discomfort

A venerated emporium
pull back the curtain
and find the shelves barren.

Everything is flat
everything is so far apart
over the land I travel
and inside the heart.

A venerated emporium
pull back the curtain
and find the shellves abandoned.

And I feel home deprived
as I reach my destination.
And I feel satisfied
like everything has a plan.
And I feel home deprived
with sudden complication.
And I feel petrified
so I just surrender